The meaning of life?

I don't understand the concept of death and i don't think i ever will.

I don't get how one day someone can be normal healthy laughing and just there and then the next there not. Where do they go? It's a question that has puzzled on humanity since the dawn of time but looks like it's never going to be anwserd. Maybe where not supposed to know. I've always thought we shouldn't try and anwser this question, we need to live our lives enjoying ourselves not wondering why where here. I dont really care why where here anymore i would just love to seek comfort in knowing when someone has been taken away there still there with us, laughing with us, crying with us, just being here with us. It's not hard to convince yourself a loved one who has passed away is happy where they are, but that still doesn't heal or even begin to help the agonising pain you go through everyday attempting to live life without them, when everything you do is hard and painful and literally feels like your heart is being ripped out and shit on. It still doesn't justify why good people get taken away, and scum of the earth who sponge of society and do fuck all with their lives get a place on this earth but so many decent, loving human beings are forced to leave in the most tragic and unfair ways possible. People say death is a hard thing. That is the most underated saying i have ever heard. Hard does not even come close to describing the pain. How are we even supposed to know their okay? Or if their is life after death. If their isn't, i'd rather just die now and put an end to this fucking bullshit.